Whole Living Today

I’m the one that friends call. Anytime. For anything. I’m the one that’s always there. Without judgement. One night a few years ago a close friend called. Needed someone to “hang out with.” For the first time, I said I couldn’t, too tired. He died that night. He fell asleep with a cigarette. There’s an empty spot here now. Not just from the torn down building but in our hearts. I’ve been told by others that I wasn’t the only one he called asking for help that night. Does that make me feel better?

How much do we give of our Self? At what point do we draw our boundaries?

His funeral was on a Monday. I asked and the band in the park that evening played….

Stormy Monday 

Balance and being whole. Balance is more than just balancing events and emotions within our lives. Balance is about finding the balance of our feminine and masculine. The balance of energies. Until we reach that point we search for that balance outside of our Self. Although we are complete as we are, we may be suppressing aspects of our Self.

I’m not talking males and females but those aspects of the masculine and feminine within.

Let’s use an example. If we are denying our Self of our masculine aspects, we will seek that in another. Is that why some women (or men) wind up drawing controlling, dominating relationships into their lives? To balance out their nurturing, gentle side? And in doing so, fulfilling the suppressed feminine side of the other as well? This isn’t balance, or love, this is co-dependency.

Love will be found within the balance of Self.

 Related Post

• Finding Balance

“Soul mate love is a mystical partnership that exposes us to the most universal life lessons. With soul mate love we learn to recognize the divine spirit in each of our hearts and go beyond the self so that two in a relationship truly can become One.”

Last year my mom very excitedly gave me two books, on no particular day. ”The One: Discovering the Secrets of Soul Mate Love” and “Expect a Miracle: 7 Spiritual Steps to Finding the Right Relationship“, both by Kathy Freston. My mom can be kind of tactful, guess she wasn’t real happy with the relationship I was in or my previous choices either. But I also know that I wasn’t ready. I’m thinking, “Great… more how-to-get-the-right-man.” At least it was books and not an introduction to someone. I recommend both of these books to anyone, male or female, looking for, or currently in a relationship. Both the books place the emphasis on the individual first; even being aware of this, these books enforce the message.

In order to be in a loving, healthy relationship, we have to first focus on our own transformation. We need to be whole as individuals before we can come together in partnership with someone else. Kathy’s books offer insightful messages, mantras, meditations, and questions guiding us to grow to wholeness.

“Our lives are like a vessel through which divine energy flows; if we don’t clear the stumbling blocks that we encounter, we keep the energy of a spiritual relationship from entering.”

The blockages that we encounter within our lives are fear based. Fear occurs when we are not empowered and whole. Many individuals rely on external sources for love and acceptance. This creates fear. Feelings of anger, control, abandonment, lack of self-esteem, jealousy, insecurity, loneliness, disappointment, resentment, etc. develop when the hold upon the external source or individual begins to slip away or is no longer present. All feelings are based either on love or fear. By loving and accepting who we are as individuals, fear will not exist. Until we can love our Self fully, any relationship is co-dependency, relying on something else to provide for the love and acceptance that is lacking within oneself.

“A soulmate is someone who has locks that fit our keys, and keys to fit our locks. When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and we can be completely and honestly who we are; we can be loved for who we are and not for who we’re pretending to be. Each unveils the best part of the other. No matter what else goes wrong around us, with that one person we’re safe in our own paradise. Our soulmate is someone who shares our deepest longings, our sense of direction. When we’re two balloons, and together our direction is up, chances are we’ve found the right person. Our soulmate is the one who makes life come to life.”  The Bridge Across Forever: A True Love Story by Richard Bach

Related Post:   New Beginnings 2008

Leave a comment and share your experiences or thoughts on soul mates.

I had already started working on my post for today when I received this very appropriate email from Doreen Virtue’s Angel Therapy Newsletter:

“2008’s energy is gentle, loving, and compassionate. 2008 embraces us with love, even as it teaches us how to use the power of our mind and emotions.

Adding together all of the digits in 2+0+0+8, we receive the sum of 10. Add these two digits together 1+0, and you have a 1. The number 1 means: “Your thoughts are instantly manifesting into form.”

As a 1 year, 2008 promises adventures in getting immediate reactions to your thoughts and emotions. Everything you think about will instantly appear in your life. So the key to enjoying a blissful 2008 is to keep your thoughts dialed on Love.”…

“I ask that you open my heart to Divine Love, and help me to feel safe, protected, and energized. Please help me to adjust my life so that it is in alignment with my truth and integrity. Help me to release any emotional energy drains, now and completely. Help me to release any old anger, unforgiveness, resentment, or other emotional toxins, now and forever. Help me to have the courage to be my true self in all ways. Thank you, Amen.”

2007 appears to have been a year of transformation and rebuilding for many of us. We need to take a little time to reflect and let go. This will provide space for the new to enter into our lives. You might also want to visit this blog post by Molly Brogan, The Sacred Space of Relationships. Guess this post is a little more personal than I usually expose but I think many can relate. One of my favorite books of all time is The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. I’d like to share this beautiful quote on love, trust and dreams from his book…

“At that moment, it seemed to him that time stood still, and the Soul of the World surged within him. When he looked into her dark eyes, and saw that her lips were poised between an laugh and silence, he learned the most important part of the language that all the world spoke–the language that everyone on earth was capable of understanding in their heart. It was love. Something older than humanity, more ancient than the desert. Something that exerted the same force whenever two pairs of eyes met, as had theirs here at the well. She smiled, and that was ceertainly an omen–the omen he had been awaiting, without even knowing he was, for all his life….

It was the pure Language of the World. It required no explanation, just as the universe needs none as it travels through endless time. What the boy felt at that moment was that he was in the presence of the only woman in his life, and that, with no needs for words, she recognized the same thing. He was more certain of it than anything in the world. He had been told by his parents and grandparents that he must fall in love and really know a person before becoming committed. But maybe people who felt that way had never learned the universal language. Because, when you know that language, it’s easy to understand that someone in the world awaits you, whether it’s in the middle of the desert or in some great city. And when two such people encounter each other, and their eyes meet, the past and the future become unimportant. There is only that moment, and the incredible cretainty that everything under the sun has been written by one hand only. It is the hand that evokes love, and creates a twin soul for every person in the world. Without such love, one’s dreams would have no meaning.”

A Love Song For No One - John Mayer

With love & blessings for the New Year,
Tania

“Solitude is such a potential thing. We hear voices in solitude, we never hear in the hurry and turmoil of life; we receive counsels and comforts, we get under no other condition . . .” ~Amelia Barr

So many people can’t be alone, to just be with the solitude. They need to constantly be with another or, some delude themselves by constantly keeping themselves busy, coping. Afraid of the inner voice? Solitude is a time of personal reflection, a key component for personal and spiritual growth. How can we know who we are if we can’t sit with ourself in silence?

“When we cannot bear to be alone, it means we do not properly value the only companion we will have from birth to death - ourselves.” ~Eda LeShan

By solitude, I do not necessarily mean silent contemplation or meditation, but being comfortable to be by yourself, away from outside influences. Comfortable enough to relax and enjoy Self. Value the time alone to explore true feelings, who you are and who you are becoming, your strengths and weaknesses. Learn to love yourself.

Journaling is a good activity for times of solitude. It doesn’t need to be anything formal, just write. Write whatever comes to mind. Let the thoughts flow. Record your dreams. Listen to your inner voice, it will provide guidance that no one else can, it knows you. It is YOU.

Make your own decisions, live your life. Become true to your Self. Enjoy the time, take care of yourself. Cook nice meals, tend the garden, take a walk, read, nap, lounge in the bath, or even create a blog. Find your passion. Create. Explore your possibilities.

“I lived in solitude in the country and noticed how the monotony of a quiet life stimulates the creative mind” ~Albert Einstein

Choose to enjoy the glory of being alone… 

Language… has created the word “loneliness” to express the pain of being alone. And it has created the word “solitude” to express the glory of being alone. ~Paul Johannes Tillich, ‘The Eternal Now’