Whole Living Today

 

You who never arrived
in my arms, Beloved, who were lost
from the start,
I don’t even know what songs
would please you. I have given up trying
to recognize you in the surging wave of the next
moment. All the immense
images in me- the far-off, deeply-felt landscape,
cities, towers, and bridges, and unsuspected
turns in the path,
and those powerful lands that were once
pulsing with the life of the gods-
all rise within me to mean
you, who forever elude me.

You, Beloved, who are all
the gardens I have ever gazed at,
longing. An open window
in a country house-, and you almost
stepped out, pensive, to meet me.
Streets that I chanced upon,-
you had just walked down them and vanished.
And sometimes, in a shop, the mirrors
were still dizzy with your presence and, startled,
gave back my too-sudden image. Who knows?
perhaps the same bird echoed through both of us
yesterday, seperate, in the evening…

Rainer Maria Rikle (Translated by Stephen Mitchell)

Well, it’s been about one month since I walked through the ‘new door’. What a wonderful change to my life. Why are we so afraid of change? Change allows for the new to enter our lives. Fear holds us back from being the person we have grown to become, to experience life to it’s fullest. An interesting part of this change is running into all the people from my past when I was involved in the sailing/boating world. It feels as though I am coming full circle to a time many years ago when I was truly happy, and people have been really noticing the change in me. (Gee, I never thought it would be that noticeable… ).  It’s all part of growth. I’ve been through years of challenges that have caused me to look at life differently, to assess what is important. I feel as though I am on the backside of that wave now, surfing and resting for a bit, just enjoying life. I’ve been meeting some wonderful people and reconnecting with people from my past. I’ve lived in Mystic for 28 years now yet it is only recently that I am seeing and experiencing living here with new eyes and feeling.

“Everything seemed different to her, as if she had just arrived and needed to visit the museums, the historical monuments, the fashionable bars and restaurants. It’s odd how, when you live in a city, you always postpone getting to know to know it and usually end up never knowing it at all.” (Eleven Minutes ~ Paul Coelho)

So again, why are we so afraid of change? Change requires TRUST. Trust in the Universe. Trust to follow our hearts. Trust to chase our dreams. Trust to believe.

Yes, we’ve all been hurt, burned, betrayed… what an awesome lesson that life provides us, if only we take the time to reflect and discover the lesson that has been given to us. Chances are these lessons have been given to us to show us how important it is to live in the moment, to just experience life, NOW. And, to be true to our Self. If we live in the future, we live with expectations. Does that mean we shouldn’t have dreams? No. To have a dream provides direction, an intention to the Universe. To SURRENDER that dream is to TRUST.

Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself,
(I am large, I contain multitudes.)
Walt Whitman, “Song of Myself”

With love,
~Tania

For Bill
Thank you for so many things…

1. Just for today I will be happy. This assumes what Abraham Lincoln said is true: ‘Most folks are about as happy as they make their mind up to be.’ Happiness comes from within; it is not a matter of externals.
2. Just for today I will try to adjust myself to what is; not try to adjust everything to my own desires. I will take my family, my business, and my luck as they come and fit myself to them.
3. Just for today I will take care of my body. I will exercise it, care for it, nourish it, not abuse or neglect it, so that it will be a perfect machine for my bidding.
4. Just for today I will try to strengthen my mind. I will learn something useful. I will not be a mental loafer. I will read something that requires effort, thought, and concentration.
5. Just for today I will exercise my soul in three ways: I will do someone a good turn and not get found out. I will do at least two chores I don’t want to do, as William James suggests, just for exercise.
6. Just for today I will be agreeable. I will look as well as I can, speak diplomatically, act courteously, be liberal with praise, criticize not at all, nor find fault with anything, and not try to regulate or improve anyone.
7. Just for today I will try to live through this day only, not tackle my whole life problem at once. I can do things for twelve hours that would appall me if I had to keep them up for a lifetime.
8. Just for today I will have a program. I will write down what I expect to do every hour. I may not follow it exactly, but I will have it. It will eliminate two pests: hurrying and indecision.
9. Just for today I will have a quiet half hour by myself and relax. In this half hour sometimes I will think of God, so as to get a little more perspective into my life.
10. Just for today I will be unafraid. Particularly, I will be unafraid to be happy; to enjoy what is beautiful; to love; and to believe that those I love, love me.

— Copyright © Sybil Partridge
Photo by Tania - 6/11/08 New Day in Mystic